James Corden suspended for Balthazar for ‘abusive’ behavior

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Traffic Hazard James Corden Loves His Carpool Karaoke and omelettes are very egg yolk. This is the mildest reveal in a highly scathing, highly entertaining screed from restaurateur Keith McNally, who on Monday, October 17, decreed on Instagram that the overly exciting late late show host has been banned from popular French restaurant Balthazar in New York City. Long a staple of the scene, Balthazar is popular with celebrities and NPCs alike for its decadent, haute-Epcot vibes, on-site bakery, and reliable renditions of French staples like escargot and steak frites. The restaurant serves about 1,500 people a day, and of all of them, McNally calls Corden “the most abusive customer of my Balthazar servers since the restaurant opened 25 years ago.”

“James Corden is a tremendously gifted comedian, but a little Cretin of a man,” McNally writes. He says he’s not “often a customer,” but “today I’ve Corden 86’d.” This is industry slang for the proverbial picking someone up by the scruff and giving them a quick kick in the butt out the door on the curb, à la Moe Szyslak. He then goes on to give two recent examples of Corden acting cruelly, demanding and yelling at the wait staff.

In June of this year, Corden reportedly found a hair in something that was presented to him and acted “devilish” about it to the manager (“after eating his main course,” as is so often the case). “Corden was extremely mean to G, saying, ‘Give us another round of drinks this second. And also take care of all our drinks so far. This way I [don’t] write nasty reviews in scream or something.’” This incident makes Corden sound like all the naughty kids in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory combined.

The second report of squeamish, piss-poor behavior towards a server called MK comes from October this year and reads like a police statement:

Mr. Corden’s wife ordered an egg yolk omelette with Gruyere cheese and salad. A few minutes after they got the food, James called their server, MK, and told her that there was a little bit of egg white mixed in with the yolk. MK informed the floor manager, G. The kitchen remade the dish, but unfortunately sent it with home fries instead of salad. That’s when James Corden started yelling madly at the server, “You can’t do your job! You can’t do your job! Maybe I should go to the kitchen and make the omelette myself!”

In this anecdote, Corden is a hypocritical disgruntled fancy-man in a… Monty Python sketch. He is the villainous lion king, not from The lionking, but from Robin Hood, with all rings. He is the Boss baby in a distant sequel called boss mature. He’s the archetypal nightmare client that everyone who’s ever worked in the service industry has a story about, only he’s famous, and he’s known for being a fun-loving, friendly guy on TV. It’s Ellen’s trap, or wife’s dilemma: When you build your public personality around a version of “nice,” it’s doubly destructive to dabble in dickery. (Also, don’t all omelets have “egg white mixed with the yolk”? Unless they’re all white? Are whole-yolk omelets a Corden house delicacy?)

There was still time for Corden to limit the damage and rectify the situation once the news broke.

– Option one: He has a long night of soul and seriously considers how the way he treats other people is not okay.

– Option two: he finds a new place in central France to terrorize. Maybe Lucien.

– Option Three: He performs a kitchen ambush, crosswalk karaoke style, in his mouse costume, jumps on a chef’s head and takes over the whole place like Ratatouille does Ratatouille.

Just a few hours later, however, McNally provided another update with a glimmer of hope, akin to a Disney fairy tale that people might be able to change. “James Corden just called me and apologized profusely. Because I screwed up more than most people, I strongly believe in second chances,” McNally said on Instagram. “But….anyone who is magnanimous enough to apologize to a good-for-nothing like me (and my staff) doesn’t deserve to be banned from somewhere. Especially Balthazar.” Their short-lived feud is now reportedly over and McNally and “Jimmy Corden” are acquaintances again. Or at least just the restaurateur and patron.

Until Corden decides to go to Balthazar for another meal, send us that full yolk omelette recipe. We are eager to try it the get salmonella.

This post has been updated everywhere.

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